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  • Chris Layden

To break the news or keep the secret?

During the first trimester of pregnancy there is certainly a lion's share of things happening. Whether you know it or not, your significant other is probably already waging a war in her head whether or not to break the news to her people. You, yourself might be experiencing that as well. Weighing the pro's and con's of breaking that news to your crew.

I know personally, I wanted to get that information out as quick as possible. I certainly consider myself a really good secret keeper when it comes to a secret of such magnitude, however, I did find myself going crazy with such information. Thread lightly here my friends. This is a conversation that you will want to have with your baby momma. Come up with a game plan on how to spring the news on people. Don't go all willy-nilly and tell all of your friends, as this information will certainly make its way back to your girl. You don't want to end up being the bad guy here.

So, like I mentioned, talk to your girl. Find out where her head is. She may be riddled with giddy excitement or she could be panic stricken. Talking to her is the only way to figure that out. Gauge her feelings and come down to her level. You might be just as excited or doubled over in freight. Bottom line, get on the same page.

Now that you two are talking, grab a piece of paper and a pen. Make two columns, one for pro's and one for con's. Get to work. Start with the pro's. What do you and your baby momma feel are positive aspects of shedding light on this topic early. Are you both excited and want to spread the news? What benefits are there to coming out in the open about the pregnancy so early?

Now that you have established a list of pro's, get started on the con's. Keep in mind that the first three months of a pregnancy are often the most turbulent for mom and baby. A lot can happen, so keep that in mind. Should you wait to tell? Why? Can you and your significant other wait? If so, write this stuff down. Essentially, this is a very important, yet delicate situation you find yourself in with your girl, so make sure you are both on the same page.

My personal take on finding out that my wife was pregnant was unique to myself. I talked to her. I asked her what she needed and how she wanted to handle it. She let the cat out of the bag early on, after the first missed period and subsequent pregnancy test(s). Her mom and sister were the first to know and I came in third. I was completely understanding of her decision to bring in her family because if I were in the same situation, that is what I would do. I recognize us males have fragile ego's and we want to be the first to know everything, but put that ego aside for a minute. Remember we aren't the vessel for the growing human, they are. We are the supporting cast member, they are the lead. So let them take the lead and support their decision.

After my wife told my in-laws and eventually me, I broke the news to my side of the family. I was never really nervous about the prospect of being a new dad, I was more excited than any other feeling I was having at the time. I more or less wanted to get that news out there as an accomplishment to get that acknowledgement for achieving that milestone. I felt a tremendous amount of relief getting that information off my chest, but I recognize everyone has their own experience.

From here on out, you and your girl are a team. Talk to one another and get the other's input. Come with a plan, TOGETHER, and put that plan into place. Guy's don't commit the mortal sin of breaking the seal on that news before you figure out where your girl's head is, otherwise you run the risk of living a really miserable 9-monthes.

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